Donald Trump Versus the Wind

Enemies surround President Donald Trump, hailing from the North, South, East, and West. Who are all these adversaries attacking from every direction? Yes, you guessed it. Global wind patterns. The air we breath is literally contributing to the resistance. What is a man to do, a man whose preference for long ties and baggy suits makes him ill-equipped and unprepared to combat this worthy foe? How can he whose own hair is constantly trying to defect by alighting on every passing zephyr emerge victorious? Here, see what happens when a man commits himself to ineffectual and repetitively underperforming solutions, like Scotch tape. He loses. Wind wins.